Lofty goals: Taking my bite out of the juicy peach of life.

Well, on the day of my 28th birthday, I am facing the stark realization that my life is nearly a third over already. I have done some significant shit in the first third pushing a kid out of my snatch, etc..), but I should really get crackin' if I want to really do this life thing right (and by "right" I mean "with mad flava"). I want to be able to look back when I am about to croak and say "That was nice, kinda fucked up at times, but it sure was funny as hell."

I was going to write a bucket list. I was going to attempt to complete the bucket list before I die. There is only one problem...I can't think of anything good to put on the bucket list. Sure, I could go on and on about my travel dreams, animals I want to touch, people I want to touch and wild and crazy adventures I want to have...Blah blah blah blah....*yawn*.....WHO THE HELL CARES? I hardly do and it's MY bucket list. I'm all about life experiences, but I need to take baby steps.Traveling to Europe or molesting the rich and famous are all well and good, but having them rot away on a stagnant, idealistic list is not good for my morale. I need some instant results. Let's do this one thing at a time.

 Here is my first item on the agenda:

#1. BREAK INTO THE EUGENE COMEDY SCENE.
Ha! I bet you didn't even know that we had a comedy scene here. I throw the term "scene" around loosely seeing as it seems to consist of a comedy club small room attached to a bar downtown. Every Wednesday the up and coming comedic "talent" of Eugene and it's outlying areas comes out of the woodwork to try their hand at making a small group of people laugh. It's free, painful to watch and inspiring, at times.

Now I like to think of myself as a fun lady. I think I might even make people laugh every once in a while. So, naturally, my morbid obsession with embarrassing myself has gotten the best of me. I want to try open mic night. Just typing this makes me want to wet burp a little from jitters....

I am giving myself 5 weeks to grow a pair. I will keep you updated on my progress. Maybe.